I've noticed a pattern that happens every Christmas when I come home to Houston. I get really depressed and needy and lonely. It should be the opposite since in theory there are more people around to do stuff with, but I find that a lot of the time I end up at the house, sitting on the couch watching the same boring TV that I can watch at home.
Maybe it's because I don't keep in touch with as many people from high school as I could. Maybe it's because I don't try very hard to make plans (at least not until the last minute). Or maybe it's because I come across negatively and it makes people not want to hang out with me. I have no clue!
I do think part of it is that the girls that I want to see usually are pretty busy with their families and stuff, so it's hard to find time to hang out. We always have a flag football game, which is always so much fun and lots of times we will play the game, then get cleaned up and have dinner or go out for drinks. This year, there was a birthday party that a lot of the players were going to, but I wasn't invited. I'm (hoping) sure that I wasn't left off on purpose, the girl whose birthday it was probably didn't think to invite me because we don't talk that much. But it still hurt my feelings a little bit to know that I was going to go home and sit on the couch again. There goes that needy feeling again...
I guess I'd much rather be by myself at home than by myself at my parent's house when I know that there are people that I want to see in the area but they are busy doing other stuff.
This is why I will never move back to Houston.
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