This too shall pass...

Work is stressful right now.

I've been fighting off that burnt-out feeling for several months, forcing myself to focus on building my business at the new store. Trying to ignore how annoying customers can be, how I'm sick of my uniform and having dirty hands, and how everything feels monotonus and boring.

A week before our beach trip, the Area HR Manager stopped by the store, at first so she could see the place, then later admitted that she came with an ulterior motive- to inform me of a recruiter position that would be opening that I should apply for. When someone in the company tells you to apply for a position, it means they have you in mind. They are putting you in place to get the job, provided you don't screw up on the interview. I asked what I could do to prepare for the interview and her reply was, "You've already done it- you're a successful store manager, a training store manager, and you have a good reputation in the district for being a go-to person."

I'd also like to say that the last time this position came open was 3 years ago, just before I was told to apply for my first Store Manager position. So for my life plan, this was my one shot. And I was told to go for it!

I had lunch with the recruiter that was leaving, to make sure it's what I wanted before applying. I had to fill out a 5-question survey about my experiences/abilities. I passed round one.

Then I got a phone interview for the day we were leaving for the beach. I was so excited about it, but after I hung up the phone I just knew it didn't go as well as I had hoped. I figured that since the hiring manager had come to me, she could vouch for my performance and that would at least get me to an in person interview, which I knew I would ace.

In the meantime, I'm fantasizing about the travel- from New Orleans to Lubbock to San Antonio, and Houston too! I saw myself looking pretty, meeting lots of people, seeing friends who live far away, learning new things, being interested in work, and having weekends off to spend with my husband.

Almost a full TWO WEEKS after the phone interview, the hiring manager called and told me the position had gone to someone else. I'm grateful because I had the chance to turn it into a positive. I told her I felt I didn't do my best in the interview, and that I understood the process she had to go through was hard. She seemed relieved that I was so positive about it.

Since that's all over, I've tried to refocus my energy and try hard in my current role. But I feel that my boss is not supportive. Everything is an emergency, everything is last minute, and the last 3 or 4 times he's asked me to be at a meeting, I've had plans to go out of town. So I feel like a bad employee for not being available all the time. But I'm a planner and I have the schedule planned out through July! I think months in advance, not days or hours.

He knows Friday is my day off, and the last few times he's stopped by the store randomly were on Fridays. And currently I'm fighting him to do the right thing without damaging our relationship- the way he handles it makes me feel like I've already gone too far.

A sales rep who has been with the company a long time gave out an extended family discount card to one of his customers to buy paint for his house. Not ok. He should have called me and I would have set up an account with special pricing instead of going against policy. I found it when they came to exchange something and I asked them about the stuff written on the card. I called that rep and asked him about it- I could tell he knew he was wrong.

So he calls my boss, who calls my assistant. Not me. So I called my boss and explained that it was against policy and I would not do it- that I'm willing to figure out another way to help the rep help his customer. He said he would check on something and call me this morning.

In the meantime, the customer called and asked for my assistant. We got their paint ready but I needed to know how to handle it when I got to the store. I called my boss. No answer. So I called Loss Prevention, because I know he would be able to tell me what to do. He advised me to ring it the same way we had been for this transaction, etc, etc. Then he called my boss. Who then called me- upset that I'd called Loss Prevention.

I told him that all of the stuff going on falls on my back, it's my store, and nobody has bothered to get me involved in it. The rep and he kept calling my assistant. I'm the decision maker!! I told him I didn't mean to throw his name out to the LP guy, but I needed an answer since the customer was on their way to my store. Besides, I'd tried him first and he didn't answser!

So I'm in the process of gaining control over my store and getting everyone in line- instead of working around me. All while still fighting that burnt-out and bored feeling. Is it worth it to stick it out? Deep down I think it is, but it's just really hard right now.