Planning for P & P

I realize I've missed a full month of fun happenings around here: Bonnie and Ryan's wedding, Sam's wedding, and I'm sure lots of other random things. But there's really been only two things on my mind lately. Going to Peru and trying to get pregnant.
Both are things I've wanted for awhile, and now that we are on the cusp of both- at the same time- I can't think of anything else!

This is my last Sunday off work before we leave for our trip, and the rain has made the hike we had planned for today not possible. So let me recap the things we've done in the past few weeks to get ready for Peru and baby.

I started off the process by making an appointment with a midwife who runs a birthing center in McKinney. It's near my work and the closest one to our house. It was just a preconception appointment, mainly for me to get an opinion on my thyroid vs charting to see if she thinks I'm really ovulating. I think my years of being taught that you can get pregnant the second you go off birth control really messed me up- so now that I've been off it for 8 months and not accidentally getting pregnant at least twice- made me think I must not be ovulating, or worse yet- that I'm getting pregnant and miscarrying each month. Yes, that is an option I read more than once when going back to research what I was interpreting on my charts.

She said that the thyroid function is a concern, so as long as my numbers are in line and I'm taking my medication I should be good to go. She said it looks like I am ovulating right around the middle- day 17- and that we should get an ovulation predictor kit and start taking a few specific supplements.

I went this route because I'm supremely interested in a non-hospital setting. I always assumed I would go the hospital route but after seeing part of my cousin's hospital birth (the tubes, the beeping, the laying down the entire time) I'm not interested. It freaks me out actually. That's not to say that I won't change my mind, or that anyone is wrong for going that route, but for me at this time, no thank you.

**I'm realizing now that motherhood and childbirth come with TONS of opinions from everyone. I'd just like to say that it's a miracle, whether you decide to have a scheduled c-section, go to a hospital, have the kid at home, or whatever. Also opinions on cloth diapering vs regular, breastfeeding vs bottle, and every other thing you can think of should be left to each mother to decide. I'm not here to judge anyone for their decisions, in fact I'm interested to hear other's experiences. But I assume that means I don't deserve judgment for my decisions as well. I guess I'll get off that soapbox now!

Step two in this whole process was regular Dr. appointments for me and Bean at our family doctor. Bean has not been to the doctor for a checkup in the 8+ years I've known him so I got it in my head that he had high cholesterol and all kinds of other scary things. On the contrary, some of his bloodwork numbers are better than mine!

The original plan was to get vaccinated against Hepatitis A and B at the doctor, then get a prescription for tyhpoid pills and malaria pills- all of which we need to travel to rural Peru. Then they said they could test us for antibodies against A and B, so we might not have to get the shots. Of course we are not immune, so we still got the shots. And typhoid pills are not longer available so we have to go to the health department to get that shot since it's so weird. And malaria pills- I've heard about weird side effects from those, and while researching, I found out the ones he prescribed are not safe for early pregnancy, so I had that prescription changed just in case. So at this point, we are all straightened out, except for the typhoid which we get next week.

After all of the appointments, our goal is to finish purchasing all of the items we need for the trip- we got a double sleeping bag, rain/windproof jackets, sock liners, and some tanks for me. We still need more clothes (zip-off hiking pants anyone?) and random gear: water purification system, water bottles, snacks, head lamps, baby wipes, one of those roll up space saver bags, etc, etc, etc. Oh yeah, and we are supposed to be working out a lot. Like every day or something.

Now what's really been on my mind is the fact that this month's Day 17 is just a couple of days before we leave for the trip. Unfortunately for my crazy mind, now that I know exactly when to time this thing, my original plan to throw away the thermometer and just have fun is so far not working! I've been very diligent at charting so far this month. Not sure if I can just stop!

And what about the altitude sickness? What will that be like? What if I get pregnant and then get really sick during my trip of a lifetime? What if I chew coca leaves or sip coca tea- will that get my 2-cell baby addicted to cocaine?? I'm not taking the supplements or using the ovulation predictor- is that going to lower my chances this month? I had a bout with terrible cramps this month, which took 8 months to return- so maybe all the hormones are out of my body for real now and it could really happen. What if it doesn't?! All of it has me freaking out a little bit.

I'm to the point now where I absolutely can not wait any longer to have our baby inside of me. I never thought I would have this feeling. I never thought I would want this so badly. I want the big belly, the shopping for unisex baby gear, and the fake wedding ring when my hands are too swollen. I want the surprise of a lifetime when the baby arrives. I want to see Bean sleeping on the couch with our kid. I want to hear the funny things that will come out of our child's mouth.

I imagined myself just saying, 'Well, I guess it's time to have a kid now. Let's see what happens." So now my goal is to shut my mind off from all the ridiculous questions and try to go with the flow. If we don't get pregnant this month, there's always next month.

PS. We settled the baby name debate. I gave in.