Baby Diary Week 8-9

August 29, 2012

Buck,
We've started calling you what my mom called me when I was in utero, mainly because it's so funny. Two of your aunts have told me they don't like it, but I don't care. It's not your real name, after all- we don't know what you are so we don't know your actual name yet!

It's nearly impossible to keep you a secret from our college friends. If we could go back, I know we would have just set up a dinner or something and told everyone a couple of weeks ago. For some reason I was holding on to the 'super important 30th birthday surprise' idea and now it's almost more stressful to not say anything. Not really worth it, either. It's a little too late now, though.

I had a really rough day at work today. It started when I didn't feel well when I got there, I was going to stick it out until 1pm when I had relief, but ended up calling in help and leaving at 11:30. A customer gave me a go to hell look for no reason (I was trying to help her solve a problem), then it was slightly busy and I didn't want to talk to anyone, then the hiring manager I met with for those sales jobs and a sales rep came in (plus I looked like crap: glasses, no makeup, dirty ponytail, huge sweater, and since my pants won't button, an untucked shirt), and they were asking me questions and all I wanted was to get those customers out of the store. So now I've been feeling sick, treated like crap, and made a bad impression on a district manager, and I lost it.

I couldn't stop sobbing for a full 30 minutes, which turned into dry heaving into the toilet while the stupid eco light switched off because it thought nobody was in the restroom. I was sitting on the floor. I tried to pull it together and help the customers that kept walking in front of the door making it sound like there was a crowd of 50 people waiting for assistance, but ended up locking myself in the office until I calmed down. My poor part timer was having to help all of the customers which just made me feel worthless. I came home and laid on the couch for 6 hours until your dad came home, feeling completely numb mentally and physically. I still think I need another full day off work to relax and take care of myself, but it's not possible. I am the coverage at work. If I'm not there helping 4x the customers as anyone else, the customers have to wait longer. And my main issue is that they get mad at me if I don't smile at them or coddle them every day.

Let's change the subject. Great news: we went to Souper Salad for dinner and I had TWO of the blueberry muffins and a baked potato. I fantasized about it all afternoon and the dream came true.

Also this past Friday, Stoney LaRue was at the Market Street near our house to debut his new line of wines. I was so excited to try his wine, except that I can't until you change your residence. :) We went anyway and got him to autograph two bottles of wine and I told him a little story. First I introduced myself and he met Bean- it has to be awkward meeting all these random people who know stuff about him and he knows nothing about them. So here's how the conversation went:
Me: "We have a funny story for you!"
Stoney: "I love funny stories!"
 Me: "Well, it's not really that funny...but it is a story. So, you sang our first dance at our wedding...."
Stoney: "Feet Don't Touch the Ground?"
Me: "YES! And we've been married almost 5 years now, and we are pregnant!"
Stoney: "Well, congratulations! (as he signs the wine bottles) And something for the bambino..."

Then he writes 'Welcome...' and signs his name on a bandana, just for you. So we got your first autograph and it was a very serendipitous story. We plan to frame it and hang it in the nursery!

Another thing that happened last week is we had our first midwife appointment. Kathleen told your dad when I left the room: "Do you see how her skin is flushed? That means it's a girl." He doesn't believe her. She sent us for an ultrasound just to confirm the timing, which turned out almost exact. We thought we were due March 31st and the new date is April 1st- April Fool's Day!

It was an amazing day. It's easy to tell yourself that the pregnancy isn't really there, especially if you aren't feeling too bad. You can trick yourself. But when the lady put that machine on my belly, and I know the picture on the screen is coming from it, and there's a baby there... well, there's no tricking yourself then!

She did a transvaginal next to try and get some closer pictures, and it was amazing. After she did all of her measurements, she turned it and showed us your heartbeat (very strong she said!) and showed the blood moving through your body. I don't know that I can describe the awe at knowing there's another heart inside you beating away. She was hoping you would do a trick for us, but you didn't move so she said you must be taking a nap. Must be nice to just nap whenever you want!