Baby Diary: Week 36-37

Buck,
I finished writing thank you notes to all of your family and friends, and have been relaxing as much as possible. Our midwife suggested at our 36 week appointment that I don't focus on the loss of your Aunt Liz and cousin Evan just yet- that I focus on the positive of you arriving and how happy that will be for our family. Much to my surprise, I also found out that I was 1cm dilated and 100% effaced! Really excited about the effaced part! Not what I expected at all, but also nice to know that my body is starting to get ready for your arrival. She also said you have dropped and I'm definitely noticing more pressure and discomfort in my hips and I'm either feeling normal/working on tasks or completely exhausted.

While I was waiting for that appointment, a girl in the waiting room gave me a lot of confidence. Her baby was 6 weeks old, she looked great (no pot belly), and seemed very comfortable with her son and with nursing him. We chatted while she fed him for a few minutes- he's her first, she didn't know what gender he was, and she had a feeling he was a boy. She said the birth went well, and was very positive overall. I thought- "I can do that!" I took the long way home, drove with the sunroof open and good music, and only cried at one song.

Your Dad and I stayed up working nonstop on the upstairs area and your room last night and today I'm really tired. The only thing we have left is to hang the other curtains I bought today and wash your sheets. We have your outfit if you are a boy, and if you are a girl, the outfit is on it's way. I'm reading Spiritual Midwifery and I really enjoy the hippie language they use, like 'rubbing each other out real good', 'she looked psychedelic', and different comments where the wives refer to their 'old man'. It's pretty funny and focuses on birth the way I want to- with excitement, not fear.

In yoga today, most of the poses were uncomfortable- you are so big!- but during the final relaxation, I went somewhere and I'm surprised I came back. Either I fell asleep or was so relaxed that my mind completely drifted away for a few minutes. I felt like what the hippies in the book describe- very high! Afterwards I drove with the sunroof open, great music on, and I had a Strawberry Surf Rider from Jamba Juice (Liz's favorite).

Tomorrow is our 37 week appointment, and it happens to fall on Evan's due date. I'm planning to acknowledge the day but not get too hung up on it. Liz said she would have loved to have Evan born on St. Patty's Day (the 17th), really didn't want him born on the 14th (the underground anti-Valentine's day holiday). Other notable days this month include the SCOPE walk (the 23rd), and Liz and Louis' wedding anniversary (the 26th). I'm also ignoring the fact that she died at 37 weeks.

Off topic, but if I get desperate for you to get here, I may bake you a birthday cake. I've heard it will guarantee birth within 24 hours! But mainly because I'd love a huge slice of homemade cake, and it's a fairly easy activity I can do.

The low point this week was when Army Wives came back. I didn't think twice about watching it until the story line was that one of the main ladies went to sleep and never woke up (!), and it focused on her best friend's reaction- working with her husband on arrangements, staying strong while everyone else was crying, plus they mixed in all kinds of flashbacks. It was really difficult to watch, but I'm glad I did. I know I need to let some of it out before I go into labor, otherwise I'll be holding back too much and it will be harder than it needs to be.

I'm so sad that you won't get to meet your Aunt Liz in person- she was really excited about you. I'm positive that you have already met your Aunt Donna before you came to be with me, I'm just not sure the exact time that all of that happens. Are 'You' still technically hanging out with them until the birth? Or are 'You' with me now? Can you go back and forth? I'm not sure, but I'm also not going to analyze it. Maybe one day when I meet with Liz and my favorite psychic medium Theresa, I'll find out. haha

The high point was today- the yoga/driving/Jamba Juice. Until I came home, started aching, and laid on the couch for a few hours. I'm headed to take a nice bath and read more hippie birth stories.