December 27, 2015

A Real Two Week Wait

October 3, 2015

I have less than one week to wait now. The previous posts of me musing that we may have gotten lucky with my last cycle were far fetched, and I can attribute the symptoms I was feeling to my overuse of the Progesterone cream. I was putting a large dollop (probably 2-3x the recommended amount) on morning and night, and I felt like crap- just like I do in early pregnancy.

This cycle I'm taking it easy, just one small dab at night and I feel much more normal. I decided to track my temperatures this cycle so that I would have an accurate ovulation date. For the first time ever, my fertility app showed a temperature shift! I've tracked my cycles since I stopped birth control; about 8 months before we started trying for Abby. I got so frustrated by my erratic temperatures, that I stopped paying attention altogether when we tried for her, and just looked at how many days. I think I got a positive on day 42 or so with her.

Thursday will be 2 weeks past ovulation. I spent several days still temping and stressing about doing it correctly- taking it at the same time each day, not having interrupted sleep (who can control that anyway?!). I was over analyzing the chart and my symptoms so much that I decided I should test this past Thursday, thinking my app was telling me I ovulated later than I actually did. It was negative.

I decided to take control and let it ride. No more temping this cycle. It's so much easier to think about other things if I'm not worrying about that! It's just getting things done each day as normal until I test on Thursday. I mentioned previously about the conundrum of continuing Progesterone vs stopping it; the immediate bloodwork issue; plus adding baby aspirin. At the end of the day, I could do everything exactly right, and it could still end before I want it to. Stressing in the meantime is not worth it.

An old friend from growing up sent me a private Facebook message, and soon enough we've been exchanging messages about once a day. She's trying to conceive also and we are both hoping this month will be ours. It's so nice to talk to someone in the same boat as me that's not a stranger on an internet forum, and also not someone I see all the time. It's the perfect outlet and I'm so thankful for her support.

Today I have a massive headache, and I've felt warm all over for at least a week. I think you know when you are pregnant, and I think I might be. Trouble is, I've lost sight of myself over the past year and a half on this subject.
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