December 26, 2015

Limbo

August 28, 2015

It was negative. I took another test the next day and it was negative also. 

I stopped progesterone but it makes me uneasy. If I get a positive test I am to continue the progesterone, call the midwife and schedule blood work immediately, and start taking baby aspirin. So not knowing and having to wait and also not taking progesterone makes me very uneasy. I can't just continue to take it because if I'm wrong, then I've messed up my cycle by another week, which delays our original plan to try next cycle.

Tomorrow morning will be day 32 of this cycle and I have zero signs that my period will start. I feel warm, emotional/crying at random things, and I bought zebra cakes this week which I haven't eaten since elementary school!

I've told four of my friends what my situation is this week- the feeling I have and my mental struggle with following the rule and stopping progesterone, and then a close friend (the same friend I wrote about here when she was newly pregnant) said, "ok, can I tell you something? I had a dream that you were pregnant." 

I started to weep. It felt like a sign.

I forced myself to wait until this afternoon to buy more tests, and I'm forcing myself to wait until tomorrow morning to use one. Also I bought the same brand of tests that gave me positives with all of my previous pregnancies. The ones I used  earlier this week were different.

Ready to know for sure.
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