Today was a Doozie

When it rains, it pours. Today felt like a flood and all we did was go to the grocery store!

Usually Target day is my favorite because we can go at whatever time works best for everyone's sleep schedules and mood that day. Francie sleeps and Abby and I talk and shop. 

We figured out that using the giant cart- the one with two seats attached to the front of it- works best because we can actually fit groceries in it and there's a little space to put my phone for scanning coupons and my list. It usually takes us about an hour to drive there, shop, and get home.

Today it took 2.5 hours.

The morning started like most others with me juggling nursing, talking with Abby, feeding animals, changing diapers, and trying to get Francie back to sleep so we can eat breakfast. 

Soon after Francie fell asleep, I stood up from the rocking chair and she woke up. She fell back asleep in the swing just long enough for me to eat, but not long enough to get Abby dressed (the ideal and my daily hope!). 

At this point it's 10am, the worst time of day for us because that's when lots of activities start and we are usually in the middle of getting ready still. We've effectively stopped going to anything that has a specific start time unless it's really close and starts at 10:30 or later. Which has been one yoga storytime at the library that's walking distance (we drove). 

Francie is on and off crying, nursing, and sleeping while I helped get big sister dressed, styled her hair in pigtails for the first time at her request, threw some shorts and a sweater over my nursing tank and got us all loaded in the car.

It started sprinkling on the way there. We finally arrived at 11am. I always park next to the cart return and if we get lucky there's a big cart waiting to be brought inside. 

No worries if not though, because I can just use a regular cart to bring the girls inside and swap it out for a big one. So I did that and when we got inside (Francie is screaming because she's awake and the pacifier is falling out of her mouth), ALL of the big carts were gone! 

This has never happened.

I notice several moms using the big carts- most of them have a tiny baby and at least one other kid like us. But some of them have 3-4 big kids and really need the big cart! I had a long list today and it would have been impossible to fit everything in the regular cart with both girls. I was starting to feel flustered trying to figure out what to do.

We could use a cart when someone is done using it but then it would be all the way back in the parking lot where we just came from. 

So I'm standing there, shoving a pacifier in my screaming kid's mouth answering the big kid's questions about where all the big carts are, and "can we get popcorn today?" and "what are we waiting for, mom?" 

And we got a lucky break! A mom with 3 boys, one who is only a week younger than Francie, says that her husband is pulling up front to pick them up and offers her big cart for our use! So we waited what felt like 15 minutes for them to load up, got everything transferred (still shoving the pacifier in baby's mouth). 

I get back inside and my phone rings, it's a pharmacy calling about some birth control my midwife ordered for me- the lady called last week and I hadn't found a free 10 minutes to call her back. So I answered her questions (while still shoving the pacifier and hoping Francie will fall asleep soon- I'd hoped the car ride would do the trick but no luck). We've been at the grocery store at least half an hour and haven't done anything yet!

I had a return, so we got that taken care of, the baby falls asleep, and Abby and I enjoy maybe 30 minutes of quiet shopping time. Since I had that long list we were up and down twice as many aisles as usual but we were knocking that list out! The morning was looking up.

We are getting to the end of the list when Francie wakes up again (I'm loading cases of cokes on my cart) and promptly takes a big dump in her diaper. Awesome.

She starts crying again but I have 3 items left on the list and I'm hoping I can get everything paid for and then change her and leave. She proceeds to get more and more hysterical while I shove the pacifier in her mouth and get some mint, a watermelon, and some flowers for a party in her honor.

There are lines at the checkout so I park the cart outside the family restroom, take her out of her car seat, and discover a massive blow out that stained her car seat and her onesie with poop the size of a large potato. 

There's a mom watching me, I think she was waiting to go in the family restroom, and then Abby starts crying because she wants to help change the diaper and she's strapped into the big cart and can't get out. I get us all in the bathroom and Francie is so hysterical I know the only thing I can do to calm her down is nurse her. 

I realize that what she wants is to nurse and sleep and snuggle on the couch today and I'm forcing her to go on a huge shopping trip. We are barely keeping it together.

So I get her changed- I threw away her onesie and I don't carry the whole world around with me so she is now wearing just a diaper- and push the giant cart one handed to the fitting rooms, the closest place with somewhere to sit, ignoring all of the curious looks from other shoppers. I'm sure they saw a haggard looking (no chance for makeup or even concealer) overwhelmed woman with an enormous cart full of beer.

I sit down and get Francie latched on and Abby starts fussing again because she wants to sit with us but is again buckled in and can't get out. I'm telling her that I can't help her right that minute and she starts getting more upset. 

I do get tired of doing other things while nursing such as: cooking breakfast, feeding animals, walking around, reading books, and talking. 

Another kind lady came and asked if she could help so I asked her to unbuckle Abby and she did. We had a few peaceful moments when I nursed. Abby danced and jumped around. We saw an elderly brother bring some pecans to his elderly sister who worked in the fitting area and saw their sweet interaction.

Francie finished up one side, so we got some smiles by looking in the mirror, and as soon as I put her back in the car seat she started screaming again. 

It's now 12:30, I have a loaded down cart of cold items and we haven't eaten lunch. Usually we are already reading a book for rest time at home. I'm getting really tired.

We get in line (our favorite cashier who we saw was there earlier is now gone, probably off work or on a break), Francie is screaming, we are still getting looks from other customers. I just want it to be over.

Finally we are on our way out to the parking lot and it's raining again. FML.

We get everything loaded up and I can't take the screaming anymore so I turned the car on and nursed Francie on the other side while sitting in the front seat. She proceeds to give me the biggest smile and laugh when she's done because she's so happy that she wasn't in the car seat anymore. Little toot!

I put her back in her seat (screaming resumes) and we start driving (she quiets down once we hit the actual road). I call Bean on a long shot that he's in the area to help me unload or bring lunch or something; he's not available. But it's ok because it's finally quiet and I decided to pick up Chick Fil A for lunch.

Except there was one in the same parking lot we were just in but I couldn't handle listening to screaming while I ordered and waited. So we drove past our house to the other one and when I glanced back to make sure the baby fell asleep, she was wide awake and Abby was snoozing. 

I pulled out my tricks and woke her up because there's no more transferring her to her bed and if she napped in the car she would be so loud during rest time that I wouldn't get a nap.

We make it home, there's no screaming, Abby helps carry some stuff inside and starts eating her lunch without my help, and I'm able to at least get the cold items out away and everything else brought inside. 

I scarf down my lunch while nursing again, read a story to Abby and finally lay down in the couch close to 2pm. I passed out within 30 minutes but at 3, Abbys alarm went off and she came down wanting to watch Clifford and I couldn't sleep after that. 

When your baby screams all day and they are finally quiet, it makes you afraid to even attempt putting them down because the cycle *could* start all over again. I held her for another hour when Bean called and said he was going to be later than usual because something came up and he was the only one who could take care of it. 

I decided to buck up and attempted to transfer the baby to her crib. In another small stroke of luck, she stayed asleep for an hour and I ran around the house putting away groceries and laundry that was piled up everywhere. 

When Bean got home 45 minutes later than usual, both girls were in their undies only, dancing and kicking to some music, and I was sitting on the floor enjoying just being with my two happy girls. 

I can't believe how crazy it was at the store today. But we survived, I didn't feel worthless during or after, and I mostly kept my cool (and apologized for my shortness otherwise). I'm calling today a win and I'm also glad it's over! Time for bed!