October 20, 2008

Am I a career woman? or not?

I got back from lunch with the HR manager and a recruiter a couple of hours ago, and while this morning I was up and motivated to get some stuff done today, looking forward to lunch, now I just want to sit on the couch and/or take another nap.

I can't really explain why I feel this way. Maybe it's because I envisioned the meeting going a little differently, like he would let me know that a position I was interested in was opening up and he wanted to see what I thought about it. Instead, it was more of them trying to convince me to 'get my store manager card punched' as I've heard time and time again. I'm so burnt out on the store I'm at.

We talked about me just needing a change of pace- smaller store, and me be the one making decisions. That sounds perfect. Part of my problem with my current position is that I feel responsible for some of the stuff that happens at the store, but I can't force the manager to do what he should to (at least as far as the audit goes).

There's a store open in Richardson. The drive there isn't much worse than what I was doing before we moved to Lewisville, but the store is lame! It's in a gross little shopping center and it's really hard to see from the road, so how can they get people to come into the store? The current manager that's leaving is known for being disorganized, so I could potentially come in and clean it up. It's 90% wholesale and about 10% retail, whereas the store I'm at now is about 60% wholesale and 40% retail (that's HUGE). So I do have experience with retail customers and could probably grow that sector of the business.

On the other hand, the store is so small that I feel like I have higher expectations of myself. I'm such a hard worker that I should have a higher profile store that makes a lot of money for the company. But in my heart, I know that I need a slower paced environment so that I can do my work, and reduce my stress level. And get my 'store manager card' punched. And one of my secret goals was to go to the national sales meeting in 2009 (and to go at least once in my career), and if I'm never a store manager, I won't get to go to the meeting. Professionally, it seems like a perfect opportunity. Personally, I'm still having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that we're just getting settled in and I'd be adding another layer of stress onto my life for a few more months.

It seems like as soon as I take one stressor out of the equation, I find myself putting another one back in. When will it end? Will I ever let myself just stop?
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