Old Job vs New Job

Old Job
If a coworker gets on your nerves, you just avoid them for the day (or week or month or forever).

New Job
If your coworker gets on your nerves, force yourself to have a calm and loving tone, after all- you are teaching them how to be a kind, generous, patient, amazing human being.

Old Job
Eat a frozen Amy's lunch at your desk, however enjoy a trashy magazine and finish it off with chocolate. Approximate break time: 30 minutes.

New Job
Eat half of your lunch, then clean up after yourself, wipe your screaming coworker's hands and mouth and clean up after them too. Approximate break time: huh?!

Old Job
Talk with customers all day. Discuss politics, current events, decor projects, their crazy homeowners, their wives, their kids, and usually some physical attribute about yourself. Feel free to be sarcastic and banter back and forth. Then call your work friends on the phone when it's slow and talk about your customers.

New Job
Talk to your only coworker. She can't hold a conversation yet. The available topics are: pointing at things and naming them, calling the cat and dog to come here, asking 'where is it?' about objects or people, and situation questions: what do you want to eat? Lunch? Ok, let's go eat lunch.

Old and New Job
Your coworker gets sick, you do all the work.

Old Job
Nice, fat paycheck, plus 5 bonuses each year that allow you to pay off all debt quickly. 16 days vacation time that can be stretched pretty far if you use regular days off and plan trips over a weekend. 48 hour work week plus 5 hours driving time.

New Job
Shop for things out of boredom and spend money you normally wouldn't. Vacation time doesn't exist, if you take a family vacation you basically just eat in different restaurants than you have at home. Work days are 12 hours every single day, guaranteed, but sometimes can be constant and/or through the night.

Old Job
Nobody gives a crap about who you really are as a person, just get them what they need as fast as possible!

New Job
You are the most important person, the safety zone, the best friend and teacher, and you get to snuggle. And sometimes watch TV for 32 minutes or take an interrupted nap. Also, you get to wear a t-shirt and shorts every day.