5 Weeks

December 11, 2014

Baby C,
It looks like we are here! Just over 5 weeks along. With my past two pregnancies I might have just found out about you, but I've known for a little over a week now! It feels official because we got my blood work results back and everything looks great, so we scheduled the first appointment: January 12th. I'll be 10 weeks along then.

I feel relieved and completely not interested in sharing the news with anyone. It feels safe to keep you to ourselves for awhile. I want to hear a heartbeat before we tell anyone. Bean has always been fine with waiting as long as possible with each pregnancy, but I love good news and always wanted to tell as soon as possible. I'm finding it very easy to just not talk about it this time, and not in a bad way, like I'm freaking out or nervous or worrying all the time, just like I know you need some time to grow and it's perfect because I can give that to you without everyone else's input right now.

I'm nervous about the holidays because everyone knows I love my wine, but that's exactly how I'm going to distract myself, by playing a game called "Trick Everyone You Know With Your Fake Drinking". I bought two bottles of alcohol free chardonnay to bring home for Christmas, so I hope that works for the evenings at home.

Dinners out will all be a game of "Go To The Restroom, Catch The Waiter, Make Sure Your Drink Is Virgin". And I'm going to schedule lunch dates so it's less of an issue! There's a concert we are thinking of going to but that will be the easiest game yet: "Bean And Mom Get Beers, Bean Drinks His, Trades Empty Bottle For Mom's Full One, Mom Fills Empty With Water". We've done that game before and we were champs!

So far I feel pretty good. Today the exhaustion hit me like a ton of bricks. Your sister has been watching TV for almost 2 hours now (what a Bad Mommy you are getting), while I have been sleeping on the couch or at least laying with my eyes closed. I'm writing this to wake myself up so we can go to the store. I'm so grateful to be exhausted. I've also been waking up around 2-4am every day, and then not able to fall back asleep. My mind will start racing.

Today it was worrying that your grandparents saw their Christmas presents because they were left out on the table yesterday evening and I didn't know they were coming so I didn't put them away and they were definitely in that room and I hope they didn't see them, but if they did, I hope they like them and will act surprised, or at least tell me that they did see them, or at least be glad with the color I chose to outline the salt dough ornament piece and also be glad with the frame color I picked for their house.

Please make me sick. Baby B didn't make me sick, and I think if you do, I can be grateful for that. Your sister made me not want to brush my teeth for weeks because I would gag. You are worth gagging for!