We made it to my last midwife appointment on Thursday the 4th, something I thought wouldn't happen since I'd been 2 cm dilated, completely effaced for a few weeks prior. The baby had also dropped to a 0 station (it ranges from -4 which is high in the pelvis to +3 which is crowning). She did a membrane sweep, which just loosens things up a little more to get hormones flowing and hopefully get labor started. When she pulled her hand out, she had lots of stuff in her hand which Bean could not resist looking at! She said she expected to see us in the next 24-48 hours.
We went home and decided to have one last date night at our party place- Buffalo Wild Wings. We finally played the trivia game I've always wanted to play and we beat everyone! We also decided to change our girl name but figured if it was a boy we would have quite a discussion when it all came down to it!
I took a Benadryl to help me sleep since I didn't sleep at all the night before and I was just so uncomfortable. I got a solid 3 hours but woke up at midnight so that my bowels could clear themselves out to make room for the baby (haha). Then I got nauseous and ralphed a few times. Bean woke up and tried to help me get a bath but I couldn't get it hot enough. Then I tried a shower but again it wasn't hot enough and I was trembling a lot. Bean put some blankets in the dryer so they would be warm, I laid back down in my chair to try and sleep.
At about 8am- this is when I count labor as starting- I was doing my usual routine, eating peanut butter toast while sitting on my exercise ball and watching project runway. The judges were making me really mad for some reason! I found it hard to sit still, and kept wanting to walk around or sit on the toilet. I was not in pain or feeling like I was in labor, I thought it was just another annoying day being pregnant.
At about 9:30, mom said I was looking 'serious'. I kept stopping and pausing, unable to focus on anything other than the weird sensations. Bean came home from work and I told him I wasn't sure if the sensations were something we could time or not but maybe we should try. Kathleen (our midwife) texted and said she was at another birth but to keep her posted just in case. I got in the shower and would say 'ok' and Bean would start the timer from his spot on a chair in the middle of the bathroom. Then I'd say 'ok' again and continue washing my hair, etc.
I decided to go lay on the bed because that was the most relaxing position I learned in yoga and I was tired. We kept up the timing, and I started to realize I might actually be in labor. I knew I had another 12+ hours to go because nothing I was feeling was more than a 5-6 on a scale of 1-10.
My favorite contraction was when I pictured myself walking up a mountain in Peru, step by step, as it got more intense. Then I reached the top of the mountain and actually enjoyed going downhill! It's much harder to hike downhill in person than in your head when that part is the tightening going away! I really focused on relaxing in between each one.
Then the lawn guys came and the sound of the mowers outside was so incredibly loud and annoying, I think that caused it to feel like pain and it made 2 contractions feel like they were one really long one! Not fun. I asked Bean what our timing was and I was surprised to hear they were about 4 minutes apart, 1:30 in length. At that rate we should have already called Kathleen and been on our way!
So now it's about 12:30 and I told mom and Bean we were going to the birth center even if we had to wait for Kathleen to get done with the other birth. We let her know and the drive over was torture. The truck vibrates really bad and Bean wasn't even driving fast- it felt like he was going 100 mph! When we finally got to the parking lot, our wedding song came on pandora and I had a couple of tears along with a couple of 'sensations'.
We were inside at about 1:15. I laid on the bed, then wanted to sit on the toilet again. Kathleen asked if she could check me- I didn't want her to because I knew she would say I was only 4 cm or something and I'd be messed up after that. This is where she is good- she checked me anyway because it was the best thing to do, but she did it right there on the toilet so I didn't have to move too much. She said I was about 6-7 cm and the water bag was bulging. I told her I wanted to have the baby in the bag (I'd heard its less painful that way!). She was already running the water in the tub; I didn't want to get into the tub too soon but went ahead. I remember telling Bean to take off his boots- it was weird that he was fully dressed and all I had on was a tank top!
It was incredible! The tub was deeper than ours at home and the water was nice and hot! I felt so relaxed and I think it gave me a little break. Soon enough I think I was doing the low moaning sounds that are supposed to help things along- the same sounds that really freak people out to hear but feel so good to make!
A little while later Kathleen suggested we walk around a little bit. I was able to stand up and rock back and forth a little bit while Bean held my arms. I was looking forward to putting on my cute swimsuit coverup/birthing dress and eating a popsicle, just like I planned. Then I wanted to pee (that comfy toilet again!). I farted and told Bean to leave the room, I was embarrassed! He's never seen me sit on the toilet before!
Then I felt a strong gush, like a super soaker- I yelled 'oh my god! I think my water just broke!' while thinking how convenient it was that it happened on the toilet! They ran in to make sure the color was good, then I felt nauseous again, so I stood up on a little pad they had next to the tub. Bean held the trash can and while I ralphed, my water kept coming out in gushes. It was the weirdest thing I've ever had happen to me. Finally I dry heaved and more water came out. I knew I would not be going for a walk, I'd be getting right back into that warm tub!
*Bean would now interject that they told him not to look down, so if course he did, and there was all kinds of clumps coming out with the water and apparently something that looked like a cork was laying on my toe. Gross!!
Next thing I know, Kathleen is asking me if I have the urge to push. I told her I didn't know. She got me into a squat and we tried that for a little while, then I got to lay back again. The lights were dim and everyone was there- Bean at my head with a cool washcloth, Kathleen in the middle, Nova holding a flashlight, Lisa somewhere in there, and mom way back at the door.
It felt best when I eased into it, but I already sensed a mental block. I couldn't connect that what I was doing was going to make me have my baby. I couldn't connect that there even was a real live baby in there that I needed to get out. I didn't even care about finding out the gender. I just felt weird. I started to dread each contraction because that meant I had to push when I didn't feel ready mentally.
Now, I will say this: the worst pain of the whole thing was in between contractions, Kathleen was trying to loosen up my perineum to prevent a tear. Which meant running her fingers around the baby's head and pulling downward. Then they had to check the baby's heart rate which meant pressing a monitor very low near my pubic bone. At this point I thought, 'I can see why someone would not want to feel all of this!' But for me, I knew it was temporary and it wasn't the labor that hurt, it was her helping to make it easier for this first time mom.
I was starting to realize that as soon as I got to the 'ring of fire', it was really more like a 'tunnel of fire' because it kept going longer than I thought it would. As soon as I felt like I was doing it just right, I would run out of energy and couldn't seem to pick it back up again. The best part was hearing Bean and moms voices telling me I was doing it right. Because Bean has never seen it before and mom sees it everyday at work.
*Again, Bean would interject that between pushes, Nova had a little fish net for an aquarium and she was fishing out clumps of stuff from the tub. He thought it was funny.
Finally, Kathleen said 'I'm going to let you try one more time- or we have to get you out of the tub and get the baby out' The mental block was still there, so I had to get out of the tub! I may have gotten a little hysterical for a couple of minutes there. I had no idea how I was supposed to move while the baby was crowning! I'd already done the whole 'reach down and feel how close your baby is' thing!
Somehow I got out of the tub and waddled over to the bed. Somehow I climbed up onto the bed, and somehow I got onto my back. Kathleen said she was going to have to give me a little snip (episiotomy), and that's all the motivation I needed! I heard the clink of the tools on the bed, and may have even seen the scissors, and on the next contraction I went for it and pushed that baby out! I knew I didn't want to be cut.
I may have gained a few seconds because I asked if they were going to numb it, by the time she came back with the syringe, I was pushing with everything I had. After the head came out, I didn't even feel her body, I just felt relieved! She was born at 3:56pm, just about 3 hours after we got to the birthing center!
I saw that she was a girl just after she came out and I thought 'I knew it was her!' They laid her on my chest and apparently I said 'its a real human!' And my facial expressions were pretty funny too.
We waited for the cord to stop pulsing, and Bean cut it. They massaged my belly to get the placenta out while I stared at my baby girl. Within 30 minutes of birth, she was latched on and nursing. She knew just what to do!
The next 4 hours were a whirlwind. I nursed, they cleaned her up, I got to take an herbal bath and bathe her. We had a champagne toast. I ate a clif bar. Bean took her to meet her grandparents while I got stitched up.
At that point, we talked about Liz and Donna and how they were there with us. I said that it wasn't fair for me to be here, and have a perfect labor and delivery. They let me feel that way. I felt so lucky and supported and cared for through the whole process. I was not scared, I felt in control, and I'm proud that it worked out the way I wanted.
We went home that night, had some sushi for dinner, and started the whirlwind of parenthood!
Abigail Elizabeth born April 5 at 3:56 pm, weighing 7lbs 13 oz at 20 1/4 inches long. Her head was 14 inches and did not mould at all- she's hard headed but we love her!
2 comments:
Congratulations Bell family. I enjoyed your graphic story and the photo record of Abigail's birth.
Love it!! You and Abigail will appreciate the story details as she gets older. Thanks for letting me be there with you, even if I did wimp out! ;-)
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