Shadowdale

While in Houston for the holidays, my entire family decided to take a walk through the neighborhood. The goal was the mansion on the last street in the back that goes overboard on their holiday decorations. It was a nice time to reflect on some things and I brought my camera along because every step down these streets brings up a flood of memories.

                                      

It's hard to try and describe what I see when I look at these pictures, but maybe I can try. To you, they are just houses, streets, and grass but to me, they are the fabric of my life. How do you even begin with all of the memories? 

When I look at our house, I see the two trees that used to be there. I remember running away with a blanket and some books and climbing up into one of them. Then getting uncomfortable from sitting on branches that I decided to go back inside. 

I sold lemonade at a garage sale in the driveway. My brother and I ran through the sprinklers and begged our dad to watch us. We would grab the sprinkler and aim it at each other, then complain when the other did it back.

One time, some friends and I thought we would be cool by posing all together on a blanket in the front of the house. 

When I was in Kindergarten, I walked out to check the mail and looked down the street.

 I saw my friend Liz from class at her house checking the mail or getting out of a car or something. I screamed her name and ran all the way there- so excited to discover we lived on the same street.

For all the years after that, we were in carpools together (her mom always instinctively turned left toward her house instead of right to bring me home), girl scouts together, and when my Granny was in town, we rode the bus to school together. We used to all line up in the middle of the street to wait for the bus. I'm not sure if they did that when we weren't there or not.

*I know there is a picture of this somewhere and when I find it, I'll edit this post and put it here.*

Once we got to middle school, I would go down to her house sometimes and we would sit in the kitchen and watch Gumby or XUXA while she finished eating breakfast. We could watch at the window and run out just as the bus was pulling up without missing it. Our friend Donna lived in the neighborhood too- she was also in our class. But she and Liz were in soccer together and were already good friends when I came along.

Around the same time we memorized the Gumby theme song, they poured some concrete out at the bus stop. We got there a little late, but we were still able to carve our names.

The 'L' and part of the 'i' in her name is now broken off. It's a little ironic that we carved our names thinking they would always be there and so would we. You can read my name plain as day, but finding her is so much harder- the same way it is for me now.

Once the boy across the street from her started chasing her. He was really fast and she tripped over some bags of leaves and hurt her knee. I was so mad, screaming for him to stop- he never did. I think it's a friend's job to hold grudges like that and it's funny because I still do.

There's a ditch in the neighborhood that has all kinds of funny stories. Like the time me and some friends loaded up all of my troll dolls and took them to the ditch and rolled the wagon-full down. Then had to pick them all back up again and go home.

My brother and his friends made bike jumps- he fell off and scraped his whole cheek off. I shot a bb gun there and threw it to the ground when I hit the Dr Pepper can. My dad and brother were brave enough to ride their bikes down into the ditch and back up the other side. I was a wimp so I let my bike roll down in there and then just walked it back up.

Once my dad grabbed some re-bar that was sticking out of the ground and cut his hand pretty bad.

One time I pretended that one of those bushes was my house. It was kinda boring though.

The field near the end of the ditch leads to the other neighborhood, where we went to sell Girl Scout cookies once. I wasn't sure if we were allowed, but we did.

We were allowed to play at the ditch whenever we wanted. It led straight to the street where Donna lived so we would take our bikes or walk. I guess it was safer than being on the roads with the cars. At her street there is a bridge that goes across to that other neighborhood. Liz loved telling the story about her and Donna going to Pick N Peck- which was through the other neighborhood and down a busy street! I went there too, just not with them. I bought candy cigarettes.

At our street, the fence has a gap so you can get back in. Not all streets have it. When you get back out, it ends up closer to her house. The grass used to grow pretty tall and there was a narrow dirt path where we could ride our bikes. Remarkably, other than that, the ditch looks the same.

When I see her parent's house, it's like looking at my own house. We filmed most of our video there- inside, out on the driveway, parked in my car in the street, in the backyard. I can picture the rooms as they were when we were young: the stickers all over her mirror and door, the toy room right next door. The bedroom at the end of the hall was never used until Liz was older and moved back home. Then when we were getting ready for her wedding, every time I stayed over, we slept in that room.

In the driveway, I see all of us girls ready for Senior Prom and the limo parked out front. I loved her hair the most, she loved my dress the most.

That red car was hers in high school. She was so afraid to drive, never went on the highways. But she got carsick, so it was best for her to drive instead of riding. I'd say about 80% of the time we went anywhere, she drove.

I've always felt comfortable on this street, in this neighborhood. We went trick or treating alone (well, the three of us, or me with my brother) ever since I can remember. I have all of the bumps in the road memorized. Looking at these pictures I feel a sense of familiarity, calm, and rest. It looks like a nice place to land.

For most of the past year I've felt alone and half empty when I think about Liz and Donna and myself in relation to them. Liz and I were generally part of a friend threesome at any given point in our lives. The third person was different depending on what year(s) you are talking about. And of course we each had other friends, some that we called our best friends from time to time, but I don't think it's possible for us to not be best friends anymore. Even now.

She is as much a part of me now as she was then. And I'm happy. She wants that for me, and I'm glad to know that she is too.

To quote Mitch Albom in Tuesdays with Morrie, "Death ends a life, not a relationship."