I don't really know what I want to write about today, but I do know that I will see Bean in 8 days for about 2 hours (if I'm lucky). Then it will be 6-7 days after that when I get to see him at our house between my work schedule. Then, if he still feels like making the long drive that next weekend, we will actually have a weekend at our house to ourselves. It's like a mirage in the desert it seems so far away.

I think it's like when you're trying to get pregnant and you can't, so you always hear about people who are getting pregnant, and you just feel worse. I hear my assistant asking to rearrange his work schedule so he and his wife can spend time together before she goes out of town this weekend (just for one weekend). I hear about my brother in law and his wife going to a work conference together because they do everything together. So the work doesn't get done at the office, but they get to spend time together. I think about Girls Weekend and a friend wanting to spend time with her husband and daughter so that she won't miss them for 2 days. 2 days.

Even if he was gone all day, and I never talked to him except on the phone, if I could just wake up and have him next to me, that would be better than this. I can't believe I was the one almost encouraging him to go, because some work is better than no work. Which I still believe, but it's harder than I thought to be alone all the time. He has his family, and people he knows. I come home and talk to the cat.

We're getting really close, Eucie and me. She follows me everywhere. The couch. Sitting in the bathroom while I take a shower. Last night, we played chase when I got back from the gym. I would run, and she would chase me. Then she would hide and I would pretend I didn't know where she was and she would try to pounce on me and I would jump. Don't get me wrong, I like some alone time, just not all of the time. I can't believe I just admitted that Eucie and I played chase last night. That's pretty lame.