2020 Burn in Hell Year in Review

1. What did you do in 2020 that you'd never done before?  Had a son via water birth, went months without seeing my family- by the time I see my dad and brother again it will have been a full year (just writing that makes me cry), had Thanksgiving at my house (always wanted to do that, even though it was not how I imagined!), canceled flights due to a wedding being postponed, facilitated virtual school for all of the Fall semester plus half of the previous Spring, fed my husband through a door for 2 weeks, left an inch of poop water sitting in my powder bath for a week until the plumbers could come so I could wash the towels, involuntarily quit going to the gym, turned down an invitation to a friends house even though I wanted to go and had no other plans

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? 2020 was such a year that I completely backslid on my aim to be zero-waste. Within a few months of the pandemic, we were generating so much waste from takeout, extra bags from grocery pickup, and I was buying regular tea again- I know tea bags are such a small thing but I loved the taste of the sustainable option I was using. That hasn’t slowed down but I do hope to aim for zero waste in the future! For 2021, our family goal is 1000 hours outside. Since outside was our saving grace before we felt safe to go to a playground last year, we want to expand on that good feeling this year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? I myself did! And my friend Mel had her son 10 days before I had mine- built in best buds! And my friend Maya had a baby that I still haven’t held.

4. Did anyone close to you die? My Aunt Judy died suddenly a week before Thanksgiving. She had been ill for a couple of years but this came as a surprise, and also a relief that she is no longer suffering or alone in a nursing home where we haven’t been allowed to visit since February. There hasn’t been a service for her yet but I look forward to celebrating her life in the future.

5. What countries did you visit? I traveled between Bedroomland and Living Room Island the most.

6. What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020? Hugs. Visits with friends indoors. Giant parties at my house. Family holiday get togethers. In person Girl Scout meetings and weddings. Concerts. Seeing a movie in the theater.

7. What date from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? November 27th, the day I had my son! A real live boy! :)

9. What was your biggest failure? Failing to communicate my ovulation days on February 29th. Hahaha! It worked out perfectly though- sometimes failure leads you to the exact thing you want and/or need.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Not unless you count the aches and pains and nausea of pregnancy and postpartum. Thankfully I avoided Covid!

11. What was the best thing you bought? Number one- I have spent more money this year on random things that I don’t even remember. Number two- my poor husband got horrible gifts/nothing from me for Christmas. Number three- this has been the biggest negative change for me from 2020. I am not a frivolous spender/impulse shopper under normal circumstances. 

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? My husband! He has always been a great partner, but I see him turning a corner with knowing what he wants out of his life and fortunately for me, it includes his family. We are so lucky he is ours.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? People who placed expectations on me that I can’t fulfill, specifically surrounding giving birth and postpartum. Women need support and understanding, not pressure of any kind.

14. Where did most of your money go? Into savings accounts. We did refinance our home to lower our interest rate and loan length plus get some cash to remodel the kitchen next year. We chose that path due to the major plumbing leak we had in the summer that we couldn’t wait any longer to fix. So we had half of our home’s plumbing replaced/rerouted just a couple of weeks before I gave birth. That was a very expensive project!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Nothing. I’m making a Debbie Downer face. I think the whole year feels like a blur of stress and anxiety and disappointment, covered in a face mask.  

16. What song will always remind you of 2020? The opening song to Schitts Creek- the show that got me through the year! I watched it all the way through and then started it again at the end of the year...

17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?  Sadder

ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter

iii. richer or poorer? Richer in bank accounts but poorer with a little more debt :(

18. Is there anything you wish you'd done more of? Aside from all the things I mentioned missing, I wish I had documented my 5th and final pregnancy the way I did with all of my others. I was bogged down with work and virtual school and pregnancy that I didn’t have the mental capacity to do it. I want to remember the details but I definitely don’t remember them now to go back.

18.1 How many date nights did you go on this year? Two. Both were to eat at True Food Kitchen for squash pie- once in February before the pandemic, and once just two days before Brooks was born. We definitely had to pause for contraction breaks that time! But the weather was beautiful.

18.2 Which date night was your favorite? Clearly the lunch date. We had a great conversation, beautiful weather, awesome food, and a little walking to try to get the baby out.

18.3 Did you take a trip without kids? Nope.

19. Is there anything you wish you'd done less of? Worry. I had anxieties over lots of things with my pregnancy that I never worried about before. This was the smoothest pregnancy and best labor ever.

20. Where will you be spending the Holidays? We stayed home this year. My mom was with us for Thanksgiving because we were waiting on the baby to arrive. Christmas Day we went to my in-laws house and while I desperately needed a nap and a calm day, I got a lot of support when we went over.

21. Any athletic achievements? Giving birth without injury to a 9lb 5oz baby

22. Did you fall in love in 2020? Yes! I didn’t know that our family needed another human until Brooks Harrison arrived.

23. How many one-night stands? nope

23.1 What Family Trips did you take? We went to Houston for a short spring break trip. It was a fun time before everything turned upside down! We were planning a trip in the fall to Tennessee/Dollywood/Memphis- some sort of fly/RV driving trip combo that didn’t work out for obvious reasons.

24. What was your favorite TV program? Schitts Creek and Bridgerton. I tried to watch a few other series but couldn’t get into them at all.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? ain't nobody got time for that! (Keeping this answer from last year)

26. What was the best book you read? I read a few good ones that I don’t recall. On the topic of reading, we took lots of neighborhood walks and found two Little Free Libraries which were so fun for me and the girls. I struggled to get into a handful of books that teach about race issues but I plan to keep trying on those! Wait! The best book was Eloise. The girls and I fell in love with her naughty antics! “Hello, this is me, Eloise.”

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? None. Still disappointed about the 2 concerts I had planned before the pandemic canceled them. I know there would have been more. Looking forward to getting that back in my life!

28. What did you want and get? a pedicure

     -What did you get but forgot you wanted? A healthy baby and a water birth

29. What did you want and not get?  Still want a natal chart reading, to visit a medium, and to take llamas on a walk (this is a real thing!)

30. What was your favorite film of this year?  I know we watched movies, but nothing stands out. 

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 37 and I think I had cupcakes? Man this year sucked so much ass.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? If my transition at work went smoothly. I wish I were able to train the new person directly rather than have it filter through 3 people.

It’s a complete mess now and it’s really hard to watch that happen to something I did for 7 years. I love training people and feeling helpful and putting systems in place that work and are efficient!

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020?  Maternity overalls baby! It was my uniform and they were all rented. At the end of the year it was nursing tanks, cardigans, and leggings or PJ pants. Also I got a diamond band for my final push present (husband is relieved and my finger is totally full)!

34. What kept you sane? Zoom prenatal yoga. Getting to hear Mimi’s voice in my own home was my favorite part of every Saturday. And my doula Delilah- her words at the exact right moment gave me the birth I always wanted. With the girls, we discovered trails leading to the creek across the field from our house. We went weekly to explore and I felt so at peace listening to the water and looking at the trees. That was a big highlight of the year.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?  Dan Levy and his facial expressions. I follow him on Instagram now and he and I own the exact same teapot. It’s a real connection.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?  This year was a shit storm for politics. I tried not to let it in too much but it’s really wild how the truth gets twisted and everyone chooses the reality they want to believe instead of looking at both sides for themselves. I’ve seen it from both directions in my own family.

37. Who did you miss? I missed all of my people. It’s crazy that my dad hasn’t met his grandson- before he always met my kids within 24 hours of birth. I did find ways to connect- Marco Polo has been great! And texting at any and all hours of the night. My friend Mel moved back and guessed my pregnancy and told me about hers. So I want to focus this answer on what I gained this year in regards to connection rather than who I missed. Because I missed a whole lot. We missed 3 weddings! That’s a lot of important family and friend time!

38. Who was the best new person you met? I didn’t meet anyone new. Because I was always at home.

39. Rate this year on a scale of 1-10:  Um. 2. One point for Brooks and One point for the fun times in February and early March. The rest can suck it. Cheers to a new year and the fact that I’m finally getting this reflection written!

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2019: A Year in Review

1. What did you do in 2019 that you'd never done before? Saw In The Heights (twice!); saw Dear Evan Hansen; saw The Book of Mormon; branched out by having my cousin babysit; watched Frozen 2 (twice); couple's counseling; removed a patio's worth of brick pavers by hand; went to Disney on Ice; tried Aerial Yoga and Yoga Nidra; WON a raffle- a play house for the backyard!;  and started a few new hobbies: cross stitch, paint by numbers, and diamond painting.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I didn't keep my resolution to wake up and not look at my phone and use that time to meditate. I think I did it once. I did cross most stuff off of my To-Do list for the year though! For 2020 my resolution is to drastically reduce / eliminate single use plastics from my life, and reduce our trash output (and also for my family). So far I have reusable straws, a plan for when I order smoothie bowls, and reusable cutlery for the whole family to keep in my backpack. I also will never buy saran wrap again and have a plan for that. 

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? We got a couple of cousins this year! And they are super cute!

4. Did anyone close to you die? Thankfully no! But I hope I was able to support Maggie in losing her dad at least a little bit. 

5. What countries did you visit? We stayed in the USA again this year. It was super hard to turn down a free trip to Rome though. I may or may not have cried in yoga after saying no. 

6. What would you like to have in 2020 that you lacked in 2019?  A husband who is around and awake and feeling healthy.

7. What date from 2019 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Our entire trip to Colorado. Getting to experience the beauty of that place with our girls, finding a new guilty pleasure TV show, riding a train, seeing dinosaur stuff, and eating amazing food without getting sick were all just wonderful.

9. What was your biggest failure? I'm still working on yelling at my kids. It seems programmed into me. I want to have a happy, healthy family- including mental health so I've been working on that for me. 

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? no, this was a very healthy year

11. What was the best thing you bought? wine? for the record, buying things usually makes me unhappy because it's more I have to take care of, so anything consumable makes me happy... on the other hand maybe the best thing I bought is all the smoothie bowls because one of them has turmeric in it which I've been too afraid to try

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? The parents of one of Abby's little friends for being cool and giving me someone to look up to on how to handle things. They are super laid back. 

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? I don't know if I would go as far as appalled and depressed but there is a mom up at school who I've met and had conversations with several times that also chooses to blatantly ignore me every time I see her. I'm guessing its a personal problem. (shrug)

14. Where did most of your money go? Replacing our roof with an upgraded material, and installing a sweet and clean concrete patio in the front and back. Plus we replaced our living room furniture from hand me downs to stuff that we love and looks like us. Next year we get to decorate the patio!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? See above. The patio felt like Christmas for an entire week. It's SO MUCH BETTER!!

16. What song will always remind you of 2019? The Frozen 2 soundtrack, specifically Kristoff's song Lost in the Woods because of it's 80's awesomeness

17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?  about the same

ii. thinner or fatter? same

iii. richer or poorer? richer due to re-budgeting and drastically paying down our mortgage and the rent house mortgage

18. Is there anything you wish you'd done more of? salsa dancing! And I'd like to take this opportunity to pat ourselves on the back for the quantity of date nights this year. I should put a question....

18.1 How many date nights did you go on this year? 7... all but 1 were within the last 3 months

18.2 Which date night was your favorite? A tie between salsa dancing with friends, and going to see In the Heights and Dear Evan Hansen where I spilled a drink called La Mujer mas Difficil all over Bean's clothes. 

18.3 Did you take a trip without kids? Yes! We went to NOLA with our college friends for a long weekend of fun dinners, the most hilarious brunch conversation, and that free feeling of no responsibilities. 

19. Is there anything you wish you'd done less of? worry, allow anxiety to rule my thoughts

20. Where will you be spending the Holidays? We spent Thanksgiving in Houston with my mom's side of the family, which is always fun because my cousins are older and we have some great conversations. We spent Christmas at home and I can't say I've loved it because my husband is having to work all the days surrounding each holiday which means he is tired. He's currently taking a 3+ hour nap while I do all my regular stuff. 

21. Any athletic achievements? I have yoga hands and feet. They are muscular and lumpy and I'm proud of them. Also I have a regular Zumba habit now!

22. Did you fall in love in 2019? not any more than usual

23. How many one-night stands? this is the dumbest question. I'm too old for that shite!

23.1 What Family Trips did you take? We went to Austin, Colorado, and Broken Bow

24. What was your favorite TV program? The Masked Singer, This is Us, all the TLC shows, and I did sign up for Lifetime Movie Network, so basically I'll be in front of the TV all  year if you need me. 

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? ain't nobody got time for that!

26. What was the best book you read? The Immortalists by Chloe Benjamin

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? This year was not my best for musical discoveries... I don't think I found anything new because I've been drinking up podcasts

28. What did you want and get? socks, a new patio, a new roof, a new sectional and rug

     -What did you get but forgot you wanted? a soda stream

29. What did you want and not get?  lululemon workout pants, a manicure, a natal chart reading

30. What was your favorite film of this year?  I guess Frozen 2 since it's the only one I can remember. WAIT! Let's go with Downton Abbey because I saw it with Maggie. Also we had a girls weekend/night in a hotel and it was wonderful getting to just relax and talk and order room service breakfast!

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? Apparently I turned 36, and I didn't do anything that I remember. What a disgrace! I'll need to step it up next year. 

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Feeling like I'm able to set down my chores / requirements for a little bit, or having some back up from my partner who is always awesome about encouraging me to take breaks

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2019?  Stay at Home Mom / yoga / Rent the Runway for mom's night out

34. What kept you sane? Yoga. Did I even need to say that?

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?  Dolly Parton after listening to a podcast called Dolly Parton's America where I learned that she has several tattoos including butterflies, bows, and lace but they are all to cover up scars from plastic surgery. She has a great heart and I dig it. 

36. What political issue stirred you the most?  I buried my head in the sand as much as possible but I do enjoy knowing that the president is being impeached. 

37. Who did you miss? Liz. I got hit with a tidal wave about a week ago from a Shutterfly email, then a memory popped up and I was reminded how every holiday I would be in Houston for a week and it was basically to spend it with her every day. One year it snowed. We played Flag Football, drove around listening to Christmas music, ate ice cream, talked and talked and laughed and joked, and I really miss her. I wish I could hear her voice and that getting a new phone didn't result in losing the voicemails I had saved from her. I also missed my friend Mel who moved to San Francisco last year because our schedules are so opposite that we hardly get to talk- same thing on that is Jess.

38. Who was the best new person you met? The parents at Francie's preschool. They are super fun, one family has given Bean a new dad-friend that he has been on a couple of man-dates with, and we have all hung out as a group several times. I've never had that level of involvement and enjoyment with such a big group of parents.... although it's looking like something similar is developing with the 1st grade parents too. Exciting times!

39. Rate this year on a scale of 1-10:  8.5... I'm still working toward a solid 9.5 for next year though!

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2018: Year In Review

Because I'm always thinking about writing and being a writer and ideas of things to write about and then I just let the busyness of little kids and school and working from home and taking care of my house get completely in the way of my favorite way to express myself. Maybe I can improve in 2019. 

Wait, did I just come up with my first New Year's Resolution?!

Also because I checked in and it will have been a full year since my last post. Weird.

1. What did you do in 2018 that you'd never done before? Had a kid in Kindergarten, became a Girl Scout Leader, walked to and from school almost every day (this is 40 minutes of exercise a day!), packed a lunch for at least one kid every week day, and a couple of medical things that are a little private to share- one for me and one for one of my kids. haha! Also I learned about Ayurveda which is Eastern Medicine at a workshop; I learned that I'm classified as a Vata which is Air/Space and it really makes a lot of my life make more sense. I also realize that talking about it makes me sound so weird. 

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? This year we crossed off the most items on our To-Do list that we ever have! The Monthly date night we get a solid D. The first several months were great, we had some fun outings... and then I had some health things come up and we ended up on a longer than anticipated break (6 months!). Don't worry, we finished out the year strong with November and December dates!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Yes! I now have two sweet Maddie's in my life: Madelyn Anh who belongs to Melissa and Madison Jewel who belongs to Elissa! Also my friend Brittney added her 5th child: John Elton to her family.

4. Did anyone close to you die? Liz's dad passed a few months ago. It was a sad reason to be around her lovely family. 

5. What countries did you visit? Portugal! Definitely not somewhere we planned to ever go, but we were awarded the trip again this year and couldn't turn it down. It was a beautiful country and we had one particularly adventurous and fun day!

6. What would you like to have in 2019 that you lacked in 2018?  A calm mind- more control over my thoughts, or the ability to observe and let them go instead of reacting to every one. 

7. What date from 2018 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? September 15th, it was the day we went on an adventure in Portugal. We got on a train with no tickets because it was the only one going to the little town we wanted to be in for the day. We went there with a couple of new friends that we met just a couple of days prior. We explored Evora, ate lunch in an outdoor café, walked through the hilly cobblestone streets, and talked about anything that came to mind. Went to the roof of a castle, saw an ossuary- a bone church- made with human bones, and I finally realized that it was Bud's 35th birthday. She was on my mind as always, but she would have LOVED the adventure that day. 

9. What was your biggest failure? Spanking Francine while she learned to sleep in a big girl bed. She is so strong willed and I'm so stubborn that her testing limits combined with my need to get a break was a bad mix. 

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's, an autoimmune condition that affects the way the thyroid works. I've probably had it for years and had no idea what the root cause of my thyroid issues were, but I'm glad to know now and continuing on the healthy path. I had to go through an elimination diet to find the root cause (it's gluten and dairy), and now I'm on a paleo diet forever and feeling great. The only bad part is ordering at restaurants and how people eat gluten free as a way to lose weight, so there's a little stigma there. I've definitely been in situations where gluten is in foods that are supposed to be free from it and I'm sick for a few days afterward. 

11. What was the best thing you bought? The vintage door we plan to fix up and hang in our master bathroom

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Scott as always, he just knows how to balance me out. 

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Sweet Francine. I'm laughing as I write this because she is the cutest child, with the sweetest voice, and she is also VERY good at showing me where my faults are and what I need to do to help her. Like removing all of the furniture from her room so she can feel comfortable in her big girl bed. Spunky and fearless are her keywords.

14. Where did most of your money go? Installing a new horizontal fence in the backyard! And adding landscaping all over. The backyard is beautiful and relaxing, just how I always wanted it to feel, just in time for the freezing cold weather. haha!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Watching that fence being installed!

16. What song will always remind you of 2018? The soundtrack from A Star Is Born

17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder? happier 

ii. thinner or fatter? skeletor thin- that's what too much thyroid meds do to you

iii. richer or poorer? richer

18. Is there anything you wish you'd done more of? Meditate. I finally did much more yoga this year!!

19. Is there anything you wish you'd done less of? put such high expectations on myself

20. Where will you be spending the Holidays? We spent Thanksgiving in Houston with my mom's side of the family and had a baby shower for my little cousin. Christmas was at home and we will be back in Houston to finish out the year, with a couple of special visits in between. 

21. Any athletic achievements? I joined the gym in the first half of the year and have been to yoga at least once a week, usually more since then! I absolutely love it and need it for my mental health.

22. Did you fall in love in 2018? Every date night helps reignite that spark; hoping to keep it growing in 2019

23. How many one-night stands? none. Seriously, I need to delete this question because I've been doing this exact same quiz since I was in college and the answer has literally always been the same. 

24. What was your favorite TV program? This Is Us, Camping, My Brilliant Friend, Call the Midwife, Jamestown, also rewatching all of Victoria (sooo…. HBO and PBS)

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? Nah

26. What was the best book you read? I've been slowly getting through The Conscious Parent and The Awakened Family by Shefali Tsabury. It's a lot to digest and I feel like I need to go back and highlight and memorize things, which is weird because usually I just read things and understand them and move on. It's nice to be challenged to learn something new. 

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Katie Pruitt. She opened for Anderson East and only has about 5 songs on Spotify but her voice is powerful!

28. What did you want and get? All of the books on my To-Read list!

     -What did you get but forgot you wanted? chocolate with mint in it

29. What did you want and not get?  fancy yoga clothes. haha!

30. What was your favorite film of this year?  A Star Is Born. The saddest movie I've ever seen. I can relate to it, the music is awesome, and the performances were amazing.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 35 and had a little get together at the house. I served all paleo food and everyone seemed to like it because most of it was gone. We also had wine from Portugal, I wore a flower crown (always wanted to!), and rented a dress which was fun. It was a weird time so we had several people unable to make it but lots of my favorites did come so it was smaller than usual but still so nice. Oh and I had a bounce house for the kids so the parents could actually relax. It definitely worked for me! The cherry on top was a surprise visit from a friend I hadn't seen in 6 years, the reason Scott and I even started dating to begin with. I was so thrilled he came and we were able to catch up.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Getting one of my many business ideas out of my head and into real life. I'm tossing around at least 4 decent sized business ideas right this minute.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2018?  Rent the Runway. It is so fun! I use it for vacation, for months when I have lots of parties / social events / dates all clustered together. I've done unlimited, where you can return items as much as you want; and I've done the cheaper version where you rent 4 items and keep them all for the month (and wear them more than once!) and I've done where you rent a specific item for a specific day and I love every option. I feel so comfortable in my skin the past several months that it made fashion fun again. 

34. What kept you sane? Yoga. It saves my life. 

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Dax Shephard. Love his podcast and how he is honest about his feelings. He is my friend, along with Ira Glass. 

36. What political issue stirred you the most? Beto! I like how he didn't accept money from PACs and visited all counties in our state. He may have only won the biggest cities / border counties, but he made a big difference. The fact that so many more people made it to the polls- whatever the reason, even if it was to vote against him!- is amazing. And lets not forget all of the new female congresswomen- this is a great year for politics! 

37. Who did you miss? Bud, and Donna, and that spark of hope from expecting a child

38. Who was the best new person you met? My co- Girl Scout Leader. We originally met at the playground at school before Kindergarten started and I enjoyed chatting with her that day but of course I never saw her again. Then I was thrilled to be asked to be a Girl Scout leader and she had signed on and we set up our first meeting and when I saw her walk in we both started smiling and laughing! haha! We get along easily and have the shared understanding of grief, and also are willing to put in the same amount of work to make our troop great. It's been so nice!

39. Rate this year on a scale of 1-10: A solid 8.5. Great all around.  

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