2020 was quite the year for our family. In addition to coping with a global pandemic and virtual school, we welcomed our fifth and final member to the world. He wraps up our family so perfectly!
Although generally people don't talk about this part, he was conceived on leap year day- February 29th- thanks to a boring TV show that we didn't really want to finish watching. :) The only reason I know that is because we weren't intending on a pregnancy and almost immediately I knew that's what was about to occur. You know how sometimes you just know? Then we had the 2 week wait.
We went down to Houston for a visit over Spring Break- I don't remember what we did but I did meet up with Louis one evening, and we had brunch with Michael and Ivy the day before we left. When we got back into town, there were a few days left in Spring Break, so the girls and I met up with Rachel and her kids at a park and had a great morning playing and had lunch together. That day we started hearing about an illness out of China called Covid-19.
The next day, the girls and I went to a storytelling festival in Denton and even though things felt different that day- it was the start of the cautious around strangers feeling for me- we had fun hearing people perform original stories. We also got soaked in the rain, and had lunch at Texas Roadhouse where I told them the story about how at that very restaurant, I had my friend put in a good word for me with their dad... essentially the start of our relationship.
By Monday, the world had shut down. Then I found out I was pregnant. Through the stress of all the things, I couldn't find the energy to write a weekly letter to this surprise baby, which I am sad about. We were calling it "Spring Break 2" when we had another week off. It was exciting to be able to spend time at home with just my girls and relax, but I knew I would have to take that pregnancy test at some point!
I took the test when I woke up in the morning on March 25th. I wish I had waited one more day until the 26th, because that is Liz and Louis' wedding anniversary. But on March 25th all those years ago, I was fulfilling my maid of honor duties by spending the whole day with Liz and helping her wrap up loose ends before the big day. March 25th is also the day my friend Brittney found out she was pregnant with her daughter. I love coincidences like that!
Almost immediately I saw the pink line coming through, but I set it down and waited the customary 2 minutes before checking 'for real'. I was surprised, but also not surprised. I had a few symptoms like smelling things extra strong, and not feeling the effects of alcohol as much during that 2 week wait, so I was pretty sure I would be seeing that line.
When I called Bean to tell him, first I reminded him that I needed to take a test, and told him I did, and then made him guess what it said. He said, "was it... negative?" and I paused, and said, "um... no..." and we just started cracking up. And I'm sure I said "oh my word, what is going on here?" a few times. I've said that quite a few times since that baby arrived as well!
Immediately I called my doctor to get bloodwork done for my thyroid as that can cause issues in pregnancy. They set me up for the next morning. Then I went to call my midwife since I was on progesterone with Francie, and I thought I might need bloodwork with her too. For some reason, an online review popped up with the midwife I used for all 4 prior pregnancies, and reading the only one star review brought up some feelings I didn't even know were there and instinctively I called and scheduled with a different midwife group- Allen Birthing Center- which two newer mom friends had used. I liked to think that I appreciated Francie's fast birth, but something deep down told me I wanted to try birth a different way- as long as I was getting a chance to do it again.
The amazing thing that happened that day was when I looked up a due date calculator. Since we hadn't been trying to get pregnant I had absolutely no idea when this baby could be coming. The date was November 20th- immediately I thought about Baby B (my first miscarriage) and how that due date was the same. Turns out Baby B's due date was November 10th, but still, it was close enough that I had the sense that that baby came back to me. I hoped I would be able to keep it this time.
Between you and me, I felt that Baby B was a boy and I thought that if this baby turned out to be a boy, then I would know I was right on that instinct.
Fairly soon the nausea kicked in, and it wasn't bad timing because Abby was starting virtual school around the same time. So I laid on the couch all day and she sat next to me and did school and Francie played and watched TV. We made it through.
I was having zoom happy hour calls with friends since none of us were leaving the house. I sipped my ginger ale and when I mentioned I was nauseous to my preschool mom friends, they immediately started smiling and got excited when they figured out why.
On a call with my college friends, everyone was pretty tipsy the whole time so they had no idea I was trying not to vomit all over the computer the whole time. I mentioned that I hadn't been feeling well on snapchat around that time and my friend Mel called me (she had moved home from San Francisco recently) and asked how I was feeling. When I told her I was nauseous, she said, "are you pregnant?" and when I said yes, she shrieked "I'm pregnant too!"
Turns out we were due about a week apart. She was 9 weeks and I was 8 weeks at that time. She and I both experienced multiple miscarriages, so we were both on the same page. Our pregnancy and friend connection was so strong being able to go through this experience together! We were both also grateful that by the time we shared the news with each other we had both had early ultrasounds and felt positive moving forward...and also disconnected from the pregnancies. When you've been through losses like that, you don't tend to get too attached at first, there's a caution and a sense of wanting to wait and see if it's really going to work out.
This was taken in the summer after a socially distanced lunch at the park date. Please notice my pregnancy uniform- overalls! Comfortable and has pockets! I digress...
Sharing our surprising news was a fun thing in a really scary time.
I sent a photo of my daughters playing school with a sign that said, "Big Sister Training: Assignment Due November 2020" to the grandparents. All of my parents were very shocked and not expecting it and Bean's parents were surprised but mostly very very excited.
My elementary mom friends and I planned a socially distanced cul-de-sac hangout where we all brought our own chairs and drinks, and sat 6 feet apart in a cul-de-sac so we could talk and feel a little normal. One of my friends from that group had already figured it out (did you know that if you mention feeling nauseous, it's a telltale sign?) and asked loudly why I wasn't drinking. I had a little belly going at that point- yes, I start showing at like 11 or 12 weeks- and so I just stood up and flattened out my loose shirt to show it. It was extremely hard to not hug anyone that night.
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