My last midwife appointment was Wednesday the 25th, the day before Thanksgiving. I went there first and she asked if I wanted to check my dilation and I told her I was fine with that and she asked if I wanted a sweep and I said only if I was like 3 cm dilated or more. I really didn’t want a midwife to have to miss her holiday on account of me asking for a sweep.
Since I was at a 4 (already!!) she went ahead and did that, and afterward I went to my chiropractor. Of course I updated her on all of that! Mom and I took a nice long walk- over an hour- around the neighborhood and we saw a few people who said I looked like I was ready to pop. We told them we were walking to get the baby out!
The next day was Thanksgiving and we had our small little feast while feeling guilty about staying so close to home when Beans parents wanted us to come over there. But also I thought I could go into labor at any moment and wanted to be at my house.
We took another walk that afternoon and met some new neighbors who moved into the house at the end of the street. We had a great conversation with them!
We had a nice hearty breakfast with the family and I think I was feeling some sensations but nothing to write home about. It was a perfect meal, everyone was peaceful, we had nourishing food, and it felt like a Sunday. My plan was to take a walk after breakfast and then come back for a rest/nap and just see what happened.
Delilah texted me around 9am to check in because she was headed out of town with her family to visit her in laws for the day. I told her I was pretty uncomfortable but nothing was really happening, but that I was going for a walk, then lunch and a rest. She suggested I wait on the walk until later and asked if she should stay back. I never want to ruin someone’s plans so I told her to go ahead and I would update her after the walk. She decided to take a separate car in case she needed to leave and that felt good to me.
When mamas got a plan, it’s best to let her get to it!
Bean and I headed out on our short walk route, and by the time we got to the end of the street I was stopping at various points to stand still. I know myself and I don’t feel contractions as pain, just as a sensation that requires my attention. I told Bean he could try to time me whenever I stopped. “You know, if you want to or whatever...”
By the time we made it to the cul-de-sac, Bean was urging me to go home but I felt ok in the moment where we had to decide to head home or keep going so we kept going. He started telling me that when we got home he would get the girls packed up and take them to his moms house and I was confused as to why he felt they should go over there so early. We had all day, right?!
We got onto another street and I had a strong sensation that made me stop in my tracks- right after I saw a lady that mom and I had seen the day before. She said, “still trying to get that baby out?” And I said, “yes, hopefully today is the day!”
I told Bean we should head home, and he quickly agreed. When we got there he called Delilah and told her what the timing was- 4 to 5 minutes apart and over a minute in length. I was shocked about that!
I hopped on the phone with her and she said that she was parked on the side of the road waiting on her husband to pick up her daughter so the rest of the family could head to their plans but she could come to me. She said she would meet me at the birth center in an hour. She advised me to call my midwife right away. That’s when I knew things were really happening!
With the new birth center we used this time, there are four midwives and you get whichever one was on call. I was thrilled that my favorite was on call that day and she told me she was already there and that I should head on in.
While waiting for Bean to return from dropping off the girls, mom and I threw a few last minute things in the bag and I decided that I wanted to personally make the “First Days Rice Pudding” recipe that I had planned as my first meal after coming home. I had all the ingredients set out with the crock pot and the recipe written out for whoever ended up making it.
Ayurveda had been helping me stay healthy and had helped with many different things in the past couple of years, I wondered if it would help with birth recovery. The recipe was a little rice, a LOT of water, ghee, coconut sugar, and plenty of seasonings- turmeric, cardamom, saffron, black pepper, and cinnamon.
I got it all mixed up and turned the crock pot on, pausing to hum through contractions as they came.
Bean got back and we loaded up. The drive there was awful. I usually took one route to all my appointments, down back roads. Bean chose to take the freeway but the street leading there had a sharp curve and a quick stop at a light, which happened to crop up right in the middle of a strong contraction. Ouch!!
We got upstairs and they were filling the birth tub. We had a bathroom, secondary room, and then a bedroom to use. It turned out there was another mom having her baby right across the hall.
I bounced on a ball for a little bit while we waited. Then my midwife Rebekah wanted to check me before I hopped into the tub. One of the things I wanted was to not know what my dilation was, and I wanted zero pressure- I wanted to let my body do it’s thing.
What I didn’t know then was that I was 9.5 cm. I was thinking I might be a 6 or 7 and I still had awhile to go. It was about 1pm at this point.
We had music going, and were talking and hanging out. I got in the tub and the most glorious thing happened- it all stopped! I laid there with my eyes closed, and I may have fallen asleep. The music was perfect and I had some amazing rest. I assume this is what an epidural does.
After a bit, I sat up cross legged and then asked if I should be doing anything and Delilah said “no, just do what feels good to you.” I said, “yes but the baby can’t come out because I’m sitting like this.” To which she replied, “you can always just lean to the side- no problem.” Hahaha!
I kept sitting there and then felt like I was doing nothing for too long and everyone reassured me that I was just fine. I didn’t have to do anything. An assistant midwife walked in and I told her I was concerned I would have to just go home because nothing was happening and she said “don’t worry, it’s happening. You just don’t feel it.”
At some point in there, Tupelo Honey by Van Morrison came on and that had been my song for the baby all along. I did feel a couple of strong contractions with that song. We joked about a couple of songs I had on the playlist that I would get Bean to change when they came on, one of which was a Bonnie Raitt song.
I decided to try and get into a position we had talked about- on my knees with my arms hooked over the edge of the tub for support. I heard myself say “oh no, oh no, oh no” all panicked and Delilah touched my shoulder and said “you are safe and you can do this” or something like that. I picture her gentle eyes reassuring me.
Previously this part was always scary.
Next thing I know I’m screaming. I heard it as high pitched wailing but everyone later told me it was more like a roar. “Aaaaaaaaah!”
My brain is as checked out and my eyes were closed. I saw an interesting shape that I had seen before when I was a kid trying to fall asleep- a glowing shape that instead of staying white, changed colors along with the feelings in my body. It was fascinating to watch.
I heard them say “crowning” and then they asked me to pause- I think to let my tissues stretch to avoid a tear, and I roared again. Then at a pause I heard my mom say, “listen to your midwife!!” And they told me I had to turn onto my back. I told her I couldn’t and she said “yes you can!”
The next contraction hit and I think a few people grabbed my limbs and helped me turn and as I did my brain said “shoulders” and by the time I flipped all the way over, it was all done.
I heard someone say “it’s a boy!” And I looked down and he was floating in the water with his eyes open.
They picked him up and wrapped him in a wet towel and handed him to me.
The song playing was that Bonnie Raitt song “I can’t make you love me” which is weird but also funny.
I said “We did it!” over and over and then “There’s a penis in here!”
Look at all his hair.
That was a beautiful moment.
I didn’t have the ring/tunnel of fire like before. I found out I didn’t have a tear, and about an hour later I found out he was 9lbs 5oz! And he had already peed and pooped on me. Ha!
This experience gave me the awe and wonder at what my body can do. I felt so strong and empowered and respected. I was asked consent before anyone touched my body.
The mom across the hall had her baby.
We headed home after a few hours and a bath for me. Pop and Gigi brought the girls home all bathed and in their pjs and they met their brother for the first time.
We are still adjusting to being a family of 5 but we are thrilled that Brooks is here with us.
A note about his name. Each pregnancy we have had many different ideas on what a boy would be named- notably, if Francie was a boy she would have been Elliott Zeke and go by Zeke. We still love that name!
We had been tossing around Brooks and Harrison and I preferred Harrison first but Bean preferred the opposite. He has loved the name Brooks since the very beginning and could never get me on board. It’s my maiden name. He convinced me by saying the name would die out if we didn’t use it (this is true), and also when he was born he just looked more like a Brooks.
Bean and I have this sense that we know what the other is thinking and when everyone asked what his name would be we just kinda made eye contact and I said “Brooks Harrison”. And I think he was thrilled.
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